


The Devil Within

by yujaeyong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Barista!Ten, Demon!Jaehyun, Demons, Fluff and Smut, Healing, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:41:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19793923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yujaeyong/pseuds/yujaeyong
Summary: Another day filled with stress and anxiety. Another day of feeling worthless. Yuta sat on hid bed and stared at the ceiling. "I just don't understand. I am so tired of all this shit. I just wish it could all change."Little did he know, change was on its way. Would he really want to accept what he had been asking for? Would it be too much? Or not enough?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever fic and I originally published it on wattpad. I edited it a little for ao3. There won't be any smut or anything explicit other than language for the first few chapters but the smut WILL come so I went ahead and tagged it/rated it for what's to come. 
> 
> It was broken into much smaller chapters on wp, so apologies for the weird formatting :(
> 
> Thanks to [orca_mandaeru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orca_mandaeru/pseuds/orca_mandaeru) for the help. I probably wouldn't have done this without your encouragement.

Yuta rolled over and shut off his alarm. He laid in bed staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

  
_Another day. Another fucking day. Maybe today will be different. Doubtful. But maybe. It was Friday after all._

  
He shoved the blanket off and slowly made his way to the bathroom. He started brushing his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror. He honestly never thought himself repulsive or ugly per se, but never good looking or handsome either. Just....tolerable. He was average if he described himself to anyone. Average height. Average weight. Although if you asked his friend Ten he was too thin. The two things he actually liked about himself were his brown eyes and hair (Cherry Bomb). He finished brushing his teeth and washing his face and walked back into his room hunting for clothes to wear to work.

  
_Why do I even look? I wear the same fucking thing every day._

  
This was a running joke to Yuta. Every day he would try to decide what to wear when in reality, he only owned different variations of the same thing.

  
Skinny Jeans - Black. Some while rips.  
Black Shirts - Long Sleeved. Short-Sleeved.  
Plaid Shirts - Different colors but all dark.  
Black Socks. Black Shoes.

  
He got dressed and ran his fingers through his hair, not caring how it looked. Walking into the kitchen he grabbed his water bottle and an apple that he could eat on his way to work. His apartment was only a few blocks away from the bookstore. Grabbing his phone and keys he headed out the door.

As he walked to work listening to his music, he let his mind wander like usual.

  
_Other people seem so happy. I wish I could feel that too. But that’s impossible. I’m too much of a fuck-up to feel something like happiness. I’m too screwed up for someone to want to love or be with. I don’t deserve love. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone just wanted to use and abuse me. It’s probably what I deserve. No, it IS what I deserve._

  
Even though the weather relatively nice today it just gave Yuta a headache. Being in the sun with all the happy people on the streets. It was not Yuta’s favorite thing. He was a more ...London type of person. Dreary. Rain. Dark. Clouds. Storms. _Just like my soul._

  
He realized he was in front of his usual coffee shop and walked in to grab his morning cup. He checked his watch to make sure he still had time to get to work. _15 minutes. Plenty of time._ “Morning Ten. The usual please.” Yuta smiled at the young man behind the counter. Ten was as close to a friend as Yuta has ever had. He met him 3 years ago when he opened his coffee shop. “Morning Yuta Hyung! Give me just a minute and I will bring it over to you.”

Yuta had lived in Korea for 5 years now but he was still getting used to the whole Hyung, politeness, age culture. It was so different from Japan. Thankfully it had all been good changed so far.

  
“Here you go hyung!” Ten placed the cup of coffee in front of Yuta. “I am going to come by the shop today. Can you help me look for a book? I couldn’t find it online anywhere.” Ten sat down across of Yuta looking tired. “Of course. I’m closing tonight so just come in whenever. Are you feeling okay Ten? You look worn out. Ten yawned “Just tired. I have been looking up new recipes and things I might want to try. I’m fine. Thanks for asking though.” Ten smiled and it made Yuta happy. _Happy? Is that what this is?_ “Well if you need any help please let me know, okay?” Yuta didn’t want Ten overworking himself. He had seen him do it in the past and it wasn’t good. “Promise hyung. I better get back. I will see you later.” And with that Ten was gone. _I wish I could love someone like that. I wish someone like that could love me back._

Yuta shook his head and headed out the door, waving at Ten.

\-------

As Yuta walked to work he glanced at the people walking around him. _I wonder if any of their lives are as fucked up as mine. Do they feel pain like I do? Every waking moment like I do?_ He walked into the bookstore and waved at the shop owner. She was an elderly lady who Yuta adored. She was like the mother he never had.

  
He said hello and headed towards the back. Friday’s were always his favorite. They were the days he was able to put out the new mangas and anime books. They only had a small section but Yuta loved them.

  
He grabbed the small box of books and headed towards the manga section. Reading was and music were the two things that made Yuta. That really made him smile. His perfect world would be full of mangas and music.

  
By the time he finished, it was lunchtime, and Ten walked in just as he finished up. “Yuta Hyung! I brought you some food.” He smiled and handed Yuta a sandwich and coffee. “Thank you Ten. I really appreciate it.” They walked to the back and Yuta set the Dodd’s down and started eating the sandwich. “Here is the book you wanted. If you want to borrow it you can. Just don’t damage it. Then you have to buy it.” He chuckled handing to book to Ten. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you for finding it. I’d better get back. I’ll see you after work Hyung.” With that, Ten was gone before Yuta could even say goodbye.

  
_I’m glad Ten came by. I was so hungry. And he always makes me smile._ Yuta loved Ten, platonically. They were like brothers separated at birth. Yuta met Ten his second day in Seoul. It was like Ten just knew what Yuta needed but would never ask for. They had been friends from then on. Ten was a welcome change for Yuta. A breath of fresh air, as they say.

  
Yuta smiled and finished his lunch. He wondered what kind of weird recipes Ten had come up with to try tonight. He walked up front after finishing with the few comic books they had. The day had gone by quicker than he expected. “Goodnight. I will see you Monday morning.” He smiled and waved as he headed out the door.

  
He noticed the weather had shifted more to his liking as he began the short walk to Ten’s coffee shop, scrolling through his music. _Hmm, I think we’ll start with Drippin today_. NCT Dream wasn’t his favorite unit but he did love most of their songs. He hummed along to the music as he slowly made his way around the corner, not noticing the person coming towards him. Yuta thought he had walked into a wall. He hit something hard and almost fell backward on his ass but two strong arms grabbed onto him before he could.

  
He pulled his headphones out and looked at the person. “Shit I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” They let go of him and looked down into his eyes. He could only see a pair of beautiful brown eyes. The mask and hat covered almost everything else. “It’s alright. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” And with that, they walked off. _Damn. That voice. And those eyes. Those eyes were beautiful. Fuck what are you thinking Yuta? You idiot. It doesn’t matter what they were or weren't. Someone like that could never look twice at you._ He turned around but they were long gone. He shook his head and continued on his way.

  
What Yuta didn’t see were those eyes following him as he walked away.

\-------

Yuta walked into Ten’s shop making it just before he closed. Ten looked up, “Yuta Hyung! Do you mind keeping an eye out for the last five minutes? I need to run grab a box in the back.” Before Yuta could reply Ten was gone. _That boy I swear_. Yuta shook his head and walked behind the counter. He didn’t expect any more to come in since the shop closed in five minutes so he stood back and played with his phone.

  
The sound of the door took Yuta by surprise. He glanced at his phone. One minute till closing. He sighed and welcomed the customer. “Good evening. What can I get you?” He smiled and tried his best to look happy. “Just a coffee to go please.”

  
Yuta turned around and poured the customers coffee. “Here you go. It’s on the house. We’re pretty much closed now anyway.” Their fingers brushed and it sent a chill down Yuta’s spine. “Thank you, I appreciate it. I will definitely be back. Especially if you’ll be here.” He winked and walked out. _Holy. Fucking. Shit. Those eyes. That was the guy from earlier._

  
He walked to the door and locked it. He tried to see if the man was still outside but it was getting dark and he couldn’t tell. _I can’t believe that guy came in here. What a coincidence…..I wonder if he followed me. Shit Yuta. You’ve gotta sleep more_. He walked back and hopped up on the counter knowing it would annoy Ten.

  
“Hyung what are you doing on the counter?!” Ten walked out and slapped Yuta on the arm. “Annoying you,” Yuta said and stuck his tongue out. He hopped down. “So what are we doing tonight Tennie.” Yuta knew the nickname would smooth everything over with Ten. He was a sucker for it.

  
“Tonight is gonna be different than others Hyung. I just wanted you here so I’m not alone. You don’t actually have to try anything this time.” Ten started gathering his things so Yuta went and sat down. “Well let me know if you need anything.” Ten hummed and continued on.

  
Yuta sat down near the window and put his headphones in. He glanced outside and watched the people walking home. _I wonder if anyone else feels the things I do. I doubt it. No one could feel these things. He looked out the window down an alley and noticed something move. Shit, Yuta now you’re seeing things too._

  
Little did Yuta know, those brown eyes were watching him.

  
\-------

  
“Thank you again for coming Hyung. I really hate being here by myself sometimes.” Ten locked the door and they walked to the corner. “It’s no problem Ten. I’ll see you tomorrow. Get home safe.” He stood and watched as ten walked in the opposite direction. He watched the light breeze blow the boys black hair into his face.

  
Ten was beautiful. There was no other word for it. His dark hair and piercing yet soft eyes. He was a few inches shorter than Yuta but boy did his sassiness make up for it. The thought made Yuta smile.

  
He turned around and headed towards his building debating what he would have for dinner. _Nothing sounds good. I don’t even want to eat. Ugh. But I know I need to. Maybe I have some bread left that isn’t moldy. I could probably eat toast and feel okay._

  
As he walked home and thought about food, a familiar set of brown eyes followed him. They saw every turn he took until he walked inside his apartment building.

  
He opened his door and threw his keys down, heading towards the kitchen. _I don’t want to fucking eat. Ugh...but I know I need to_. He took out two pieces of bread and made some buttered toast, grabbing a bottle of water and heading towards the couch. He watched a random variety show as he finished his “dinner” before heading to take a shower.

  
He threw his dirty clothes in the hamper turned the water on letting it warm up while he grabbed his underwear, sweats, and a t-shirt he could wear to bed. Once the water was to his liking he jumped in and took a quick shower. He hated showering. Not the washing part. He loved the feeling after getting out of the shower. He hated the fact that he had to see his body. He hated his body. He hated himself.

  
After his quick shower, Yuta got dressed and went hunting for his phone. He needed to plug it in. He grabbed his phone off the little table by the door and laid down. He opened the music on his phone and chose something to play while he was asleep. Listening to music normally helped the nightmares away. He set his alarm and plugged his phone in, rolling over and grabbing his pillow. He didn’t actually use the pillow to sleep with but sometimes he wanted to hold onto something while he slept.

  
He fell asleep rather quickly tonight...but unfortunately, the music didn’t help this time.

  
_Uh no, please. Yuta felt the hands on his thighs stroking and the man laughed. Oh, come on baby boy. You know you like it. You know you want it. You’re my good little slut, aren’t you? The man slapped Yuta and grabbed his chin, making Yuta look him in the eyes. You better fucking listen to me boy. This can be good for both us or good for me. It’s up to you. Now shut the fuck up. This is what you deserve you piece of shit. Yuta whimpered and covered his eyes with his hands. He just prayed it would all be over soon._

  
Yuta bolted upright...shaking, sweating, crying. He hadn’t had a nightmare like that in a few weeks now. He thought they might have actually stopped. This was the longest he had gone without having one. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and tried to calm his breathing down. He never understood where the nightmares came from. He had suffered from them since he was a young boy but he didn’t remember anything actually happening to him to cause them.

  
_Even if you don’t know why...you do know that man...or whatever he is...is right. You are a piece of shit and you would deserve it even if it was real._

  
He got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. I hope I can go back to sleep and get a maybe a couple of hours without that man in them. He dried his face and laid back down. Hoping and praying this time would be different.

\-------

Luckily for Yuta, his Saturday morning is quite uneventful. He gets ready and heads towards Ten’s shop. He has been helping out on Saturdays for as long he can remember. While listening to his music and walking down the sidewalk, he realizes the bright sun isn’t annoying him quite as much as it usually does. _Well, that’s strange_. Yuta would compare himself to a bat...or vampire for that matter. He would prefer to be out only at night or in the dark. He is not a fan of being out in the sun and warm, fun, nice places. _And I thought I couldn’t get any weirder..._

  
Yuta walks in a few minutes after the shop has opened. He walks behind the counter and starts helping the next person. He honestly doesn’t mind helping out. Which is weird. Other than Ten and his boss he doesn't really like interacting with people unless he has to. But filling coffee orders on Saturdays with Ten makes him happy. _It’s fucking weird…No I’m fucking weird. God._

  
“Hyung I am gonna take these boxes outback. I will be back in a minute.” Ten took an arm full of boxes out the back leaving Yuta to cover the counter. There were a few customers in the shop but no line at the moment. He was wiping off the counter when the door opened. “Good afternoon. What can I get you today?” He looked up and froze. It was him. He was back. “Hello again. I was hoping you would be here today.” The man smiled at Yuta. “Umm..yea...I normally help out on Saturdays when he needs me.” _Why does this guy make me so nervous? Geez._

  
“Well like I said I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to introduce myself and apologize for the other day. I wasn’t paying attention. My name is Jung Yoonoh, but you can call me Jaehyun.” He slightly bowed and held his hand out for Yuta to shake. Yuta shook his hand bowing back. “Nice to meet you. And please it was my fault. But I appreciate the kind words. My name is Nakamoto Yuta.”

  
“Nice to meet you Yuta. That doesn’t sound Korean. Where are you from?” There was no one else waiting so he leaned against the counter enjoying the small talk they were having. “I’m from Japan actually. I moved here a little over 5 years ago.” He wasn’t normally this open with people. But something about this Jaehyun guy made him feel at ease. _I’m not sure if this is a good thing._

  
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you tell me to call you Jaehyun if your name is Yoonoh? Oh, I am so sorry...how old are you...are you my hyung?” Yuta about died. He was usually good at finding this out first thing. Jaehyun just laughed, showing off his dimples. “I changed my name legally not too long ago, but every still knows me as Jaehyun. My birthday is 2/14/97, how about you?” Yuta thought he might die from the dimples instead of the honorifics mistake. _Fuck. Those dimples_. “My birthday is 10/26/95.” He knew he was blushing but he hoped it wasn’t too bad.

  
Jaehyun smiled but there was a hint of something else in his eyes now. “Well then...Yuta hyung...I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” _HOLY FUCK. I’m his hyung. But damn does that sound so good coming from his mouth. What the fuck Yuta. Get ahold of yourself_. “Ohhh...okay then. No worries.” He laughed trying not to sound awkward. “So would you like another coffee to go?” He got the cup ready, assuming that is what Jaehyun came in for. “Yes, please. He took the cup Yuta handed him and winked, causing said boy to blush. "Well Yuta hung, I guess I will see you later." He waved and he walked out the door. _What the actual fuck?_

  
“Hyung, why are you blushing?”

  
\-------

  
Yuta turned around and saw Ten standing there looking at him with a goofy grin on his face. “I’m not blushing. What are you talking about?” He turned around wiping the clean counter. Hoping Ten would drop it. Of course, he didn’t. “I’m talking about the fact that you’re ears looked like they were on fire and your cheeks were pink.” Ten walked up to Yuta and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey. Look at me. I’m not actually making fun of you. I’m genuinely curious.” Ten knew how Yuta could be. He knew about his nightmares and how he felt about himself.

  
Yuta turned and looked at ten. Ears still pink. He knew Ten was just messing around. “Well, this guy was just here. His names Jaehyun. I bumped into him on my way here the other day. Literally. If he hadn’t caught me I would have hit the ground. Anyway, this is the second time he’s come in while I was watching the counter. He’s being so nice and flirty, but fuck Ten, you know how I am. I don’t know what to do if he shows up again.”  
Ten leaned against the counter and smiled at Yuta. “I know how you feel about yourself and others. But what would it hurt to just talk to the guy if you see him again? Talking isn’t a commitment, or love, or anything major. Even if he is flirty and likes you more than you like him. Just be nice and see what happens. Live a little hyung.”

  
Yuta turned and grabbed Ten’s wrist pulling him into a hug. “Thank you Ten. For everything. Putting up with me. Being patient. And understanding.” He finally let go and leaned on the counter next to Ten. “Anything for you hyung.”

  
It was just about closing time and all the customers had left. “Hyung you can go if you want. There aren’t any customers. Just lock the door on our way out. I’ll see you on Monday.” Yuta waved to Ten and headed home, listening to Good Thing.

  
He walked slowly tonight. Thinking about all that had happened since he bumped into this Jaehyun guy. He seemed nice. But he honestly didn’t know anything about him. He prayed to whoever might be listening, asking for guidance. He hoped someone was listening. He felt anxious about this whole situation but not afraid. _Can you be calm and anxious at the same time?_

  
Walking up to his building he stands outside for a minute enjoying the night. He liked being outside at night in the dark. It honestly used to scare the shit out of him when he was little. Eventually, he realized there wasn’t anything to be scared of. Ever since he liked to just stand outside in the quiet and watch the sky. He heard a sound down the alley across the street and looked towards where he thought the sounds came from but didn’t see anything. _Again Yuta? Seriously. This is getting ridiculous_. He turned and went inside hoping tonight would be a better nights sleep.

  
Jaehyun stepped out into the light by the mouth of the alley. Fuck that was close.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day filled with stress and anxiety. Another day of feeling worthless. Yuta sat on hid bed and stared at the ceiling. "I just don't understand. I am so tired of all this shit. I just wish it could all change."
> 
> Little did he know, change was on its way. Would he really want to accept what he had been asking for? Would it be too much? Or not enough?

Yuta walked into his apartment and locked the door. He glanced at the kitchen and sighed. _Fuck it. I am not even going to try and eat tonight._ This was a theme for Yuta. Some nights he would eat like normal. Most nights he ate little to nothing. He just couldn’t stomach it. He already didn’t like how he looked but what would he do if he gained too much weight? Became fat? He didn’t think he could hate himself any more than he currently did.

He went to his bedroom, took his shoes and pants off and laid down on the bed. He was tired and wanted to sleep but didn’t want to have another nightmare. He honestly thought they were slowly coming to an end. Until the other night. That was an unwelcome surprise. He turned his music on again. Choosing a calmer playlist this time. Maybe changing it up would help. He hugged his pillow and rolled over.

_Yuta's hands were tied to the headboard. He was sweating and silently crying. He didn’t want to make it any worse than it already was. What's wrong baby boy? Did you miss daddy while he was at work? The man sat on the bed next to Yuta and stroked his cheek. Don’t worry. I’ll make you feel good. Just be a good little slut and we’ll both have a great night. He kissed Yutas cheek and walked out of the room._

Yuta woke up crying again. He wiped his eyes and sat on the edge of his bed, taking a deep breath. These nightmares were too close together. _These better not become a fucking nightly thing again. I don’t think I can handle that._ He opened his window and crawled out, sitting on the fire escape. This was his safe place. He could be out in the night, the quiet, and nothing would bother him here.

He put his head in his hands and thought about what he was going to do. He needed to find a way to sleep more than he was. A few hours a night was not cutting it. He had already planned on going to the store in the morning. Maybe he could find something there that would help him out. He would have to look online for some herbal remedies he could make at home. Yuta hated taking medicine but if he could find something more holistic he would give it a try.

He sat outside longer than he should but it was nice. He climbed back inside, shut the window and got back into bed. _Please. Please, let me be able to sleep just a little while without the nightmare coming back. Please let someone hear me_. Before he fell asleep, he thought he heard something outside his window. But sleep was pulling him in and he didn’t have the energy to go check.

Jaehyun sighed and leaned his head on the glass of Yuta's window. _Sleep well Yuta. I will watch over you._

\-------

Yuta woke up a little earlier than he had planned but surprisingly felt good. Normally when he woke up after a nightmare it was almost impossible to go back to sleep and even if he did it was not good sleep after that. But this time feels different. He fell asleep easily and feels somewhat refreshed. _That’s weird. I wonder what in the fuck happened._

He got up, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and got his laundry ready. He threw his clothes in the washer and got ready to head to the store. Sundays were his shopping days. He got dressed, grabbed his stuff and walked outside.

The days kept getting warmer and Yuta didn’t like it. He lived in hoodies and jeans. Warm weather was not ideal for those, but he wore them anyway. All it meant was, he had to shower more because he sometimes got sweaty.

Walking into the market, he grabbed a small basket and started going down his list. He went down the aisles grabbing the stuff he needed, realizing all he had left was strawberry jelly. He turned around, saw it on the top, and went to grab it but couldn’t reach it. _Who the fuck put the jelly on the top shelf. Shit_. He stood there looking at it when a hand reached up, taking the jar and holding out to Yuta. “Here you go.”

He looked at the person and could immediately feel his ears turning red. _Holy shit_. “Oh, thank you.” He bowed slightly. “It’s nice seeing you again Yuta hyung.” He smiled and Yuta thought he might die from seeing those dimples again. “It’s nice to see you too Jaehyun. Thank you again for helping. I better go.”

Yuta went to walk off but Jaehyun stopped. “Wait, hyung. Would you possibly…want to get a coffee with me?” Yuta turned around and looked at Jaehyun. _Did he just fucking ask me on a date? What the hell. What am I supposed to do?_ “Uh, sure. You mean at Ten’s place?” He would feel so much better if that was the place they went.

“Is that your friend's name? Yes, that’s actually what I had in mind. You’ll have to introduce us. I’ve never actually met him. But he seems nice.” Jaehyun walked up to Yuta and took the basket from him, heading towards the checkout. Yuta just stood there. Not sure what to do. _What in the actual hell is going on?_ Jaehyun stopped and looked over his shoulder, smiling. “Are you coming, Hyung?”

_Fuck. Those dimples will be the death of me._

\-------

As they walked out of the store, Yuta still couldn’t believe what was going on. _This can’t be fucking happening. Breathe Yuta. Calm down._ He was walking beside Jaehyun but was lost in thought. “Hyung, are you okay? Did you hear what I said?” Jaehyun was looking at him with an amused but slightly concerned look on his face. “I’m sorry. I was thinking, I didn’t hear you. And please. Call me Yuta. You don’t have to call me hyung.” He felt embarrassed for spacing out on Jaehyun. “It’s okay Yuta. I just asked you how you if you minded walking to Tens place since it was close.” Yuta was glad he didn’t space out on something important. “Yes, that’s fine. I normally walk anywhere I can.” Jaehyun smiled, “Okay cool. And I like calling you hyung. But I won’t do it all the time. Is that okay?” He looked at Yuta. “Whatever you want to do Jaehyun, I will be fine with.”

They rounded the corner and walked into Ten’s coffee shop. “Yuta hyung!” Ten walked over and gave his friend a hug. “I wasn’t sure if I would see you today or not...Oh, who is this?” Ten let go of Yuta and looked at Jaehyun. “Ten this is Jaehyun. Jaehyun, this is Ten, my best friend.” They bowed and shook hands. “You mean I’m your only friend.” He bumped Yutas shoulder making him blush. “It’s nice to meet you Jaehyun. Now I have a face to the name of the guy that can make Yuta hung blush.” And with that Ten ran in the back because he saw the look on Yuta's face and he did not want to die.

“Yahh! Child, I will kill you!” Yuta went to follow Ten but he stopped. He turned around and looked at Jaehyun. Jaehyun was laughing so hard he was almost crying and Yuta loved the sound. _Shit, that laugh. And those dimples. Together. UGH get a hold of yourself Yuta._

“I’m sorry about that.” He was rubbing the back of his neck and blushing. Ten is going to be lucky if I don’t murder him. Jaehyun looked Yuta and smiled “Don’t worry about it. He’s cute and hilarious. I can see why you like having him around. But the important thing is...I make you blush?” He stepped a little closer to Yuta, leaning against the wall, looking at him intently.

“Well...the other night...when you called me Hyung and then left...Ten came out and was making fun of me because I was blushing.” Yuta looked down at his shoes. _And I probably look like a fucking tomato right now._ Jaehyun reached out with his hand and lifted Yuta’s chin, forcing the boy to look at him. “Well _hyung_ , that is nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me, it’s not a bad thing.” He winked and walked over to take a seat. Yuta stood there, dumbfounded.

He turned around and followed Jaehyun to the table, sitting down across from him. “Thank you for agreeing to come with me Yuta.” He smiled and Yuta couldn’t believe what that smile did to him. _I could never get tired of that smile._ “Thank you for inviting me. I honestly don’t get out much let alone doing things with other people. I am a total introverted homebody. Ten hates it.” Jaehyun cocked his head while looking at Yuta. “Well, if you decide you like hanging out with me, I would definitely like to do this again. So hopefully we can me you less of a recluse.” Yuta wasn’t sure if he should be happy or kick Jaehyun, so he did neither. “Thanks. I think.” Jaehyun laughed “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out exactly as I had planned. But you know what I mean.”

Ten walked over and handed them some cookies and their drinks. “Here you go. If you need or want anything else just holler at me.” He went to walk off but Yuta grabbed his wrist. “You best count your blessing child that I haven’t decided to murder you yet.” Ten laughed, “You love me too much.” He stuck his tongue out and walked off.

“He really has no respect for his Hyungs.” Jaehyun looked at him and smiled, “I think it’s just you babe. Not me” Yuta’s mouth fell open and he could feel the blush creeping up to his ears and down his neck. “Uh, Jaehyun, did you mean…” He didn’t get to finish before Jaehyun’s eyes grew wide and he set his coffee down. “Yuta. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to...shit.” He put his head in his hands. Yuta wasn’t sure what was going on. “Hey, Jaehyun. It’s okay. I’m not upset. Just confused is all. It just surprised me is all.”

Jaehyun sat back and looked at Yuta. “Let me apologize again. I’m sorry. But I would like to explain if you will let me. Would you have dinner with me tonight? You can invite Ten if you like. If you don’t wanna be alone with me now.” He looked defeated and Yuta did not like it. “I would love to have dinner with you. What did you have in mind?” He smiled at Jaehyun. He tried to reassure him that everything was fine.

_Fuck Jaehyun what did you just do._

\-------

“Bye Ten. We’ll see you later.” Jaehyun and Yuta waved at Ten walking outside. Yuta could tell Jaehyun was on edge ever since the whole babe thing. “So Jaehyun, what did you have in mind for food?” Yuta didn’t know what was going on but he didn’t have a bad feeling about it either.

Jaehyun gave him a sort of side glance as they were walking. “Well, Yuta, I honestly hadn’t planned in the night going the way it has, so I’m not sure.” Yuta thought for a minute. _I don't want him feeling bad. But what could I do to help?_ ”Would you like to go to my place? With the stuff I got earlier we can have pasta and bread if nothing else.”

Jaehyun stopped walking and turned to look at Yuta. “Are you sure? You’re okay with me coming to your place? After what happened?” He looked anxious and worried. Yuta didn’t like it. “Jaehyun, I honestly don’t know what happened. But I trust that you’ll tell me the truth and we can go from there.” Yuta smiled hoping it would help ease the tension rolling off of Jaehyun.

“That sounds good. Thank you, Yuta.” Jaehyun gestured for him to lead the way. They continued on in silence until they reached Yuta's apartment. “You can sit down while I put everything away. I would like to talk before we eat.” Jaehyun nodded and took a seat at the small table looking around. The apartment was small, a one-bedroom from the looks of it, and had very little furniture. Nothing that made it feel like a home. Jaehyun didn’t like it.

Yuta walked over to the table and sat down. “So, I’ll let you explain. I’ll ask you questions when you’re done, okay?” Jaehyun nodded again, looking down at his hands. “I’m not exactly sure where to start. I’m going to be completely honest with you. You’ll probably laugh at me. Or hate me when I’m done. You definitely won’t believe me. But here goes.” He sighed, heavily looking at Yuta.

“I’ve been drawn to you but couldn’t find you. That day I bumped into you was, what you humans might call it, a miracle” Yuta frowned, _What the fuck does he mean by you, humans?_ “Since that day I’ve been keeping a close eye on you. The night you slept good I was outside your window” This time Yutas eyes grew wide. _Who the fuck is this guy?_ “I wanted to get closer to you slowly and not have this conversation quite this soon. But I fucked up at Tens. Babe just slipped out.”

Yuta looked at Jaehyun. Processing what he said. It didn’t answer all the questions he had. “You still haven’t given me enough information though. Who are you? You say you’re drawn to me? How? Why? And that still doesn’t explain the whole babe thing.” Yuta was getting very anxious at this point. He was worried and he hadn’t been before.

“I can tell you're worried. I can feel the anxiety rolling off you. Please don’t worry Yuta.” He didn’t know what to say. How did Jaehyun know these things? Jaehyun looked at him, hesitating. “Yuta...I’m a demon.”

Yuta threw his head back and laughed. He had tears streaming down his cheeks from laughing so hard. “Fuck Jaehyun. That’s a good one. Thanks. I needed a laugh. That lightened the mood a bit.” Once he stopped laughing he looked at Jaehyun. Who wasn’t laughing? He was looking at Yuta with a sort of sad smile. “I told you you wouldn’t believe me.”

Yuta just stared at Jaehyun. _What the fuck is this guy on?_

\-------

Yuta sat there looking at Jaehyun. Not saying anything. He didn’t know what to say. _What...what the fuck._ “Jaehyun. Seriously. You can tell me whatever the hell is going on. You don’t have to fucking make something up. Are you like, a creepy stalker or something? What are you afraid of telling me?” Yuta was getting pissed and fast. He couldn’t understand why Jaehyun would need to lie to him about anything.

Jaehyun looked at him, feeling defeated. “Yuta I am not lying to you. I would never lie to you.” Yuta’s face grew red from being angry. “Well, what in the fuck is going on? Of course, you’re lying to me. You aren’t a fucking demon. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I can’t believe I invited you over so we could talk, and all your gonna do is fucking lie to my face.” He practically yelled at Jaehyun. He couldn’t help it.

“If you won’t take my word for it then I will prove it to you.” Jaehyun put his hands on the table in front of him and closed his eyes. “Prove it to me what do you think you are going to…HOLY SHIT!” Yuta jumped up knocking his chair over, backing up until the counter dug into his skin. Jaehyun had slowly opened his eyes..but they weren’t the beautiful brown that had drawn Yuta in. Now they were black. Completely and utterly black.

Yuta was shaking. He had his hand over his mouth, afraid he might scream. Jaehyun blinked and his eyes were back to the wonderful brown they were just a minute ago. “I’m sorry Yuta. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen the way it did.”

Tears were forming in Yuta's eyes. He couldn't handle this. “Get out of my house.” He pointed to the door. Jaehyun nodded and stood up, walking to the door. He stopped, picking up Yuta's phone. “I saved my number. If you ever decide you want to talk or if you have any questions. I don’t expect you to want to talk to me, but just in case.” He put the phone down and walked out.

Yuta sank down on the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks. _Fucking hell. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? What was that? What was he? His eyes. They were fucking black! I can’t believe what he said...Can I?_

He got up, wiping his eyes and picking up his phone. “Ten, I need you to come by as soon as you can. It’s important.”

\-------

Ten knocked on Yuta’s door. Nothing. He tried the door and it was unlocked. If the voicemail hadn’t been a red flag the unlocked door definitely was. Yuta never left his door unlocked. He opened the door slowly walking in and looking around. He didn’t see Yuta at first. He heard a sniffing sound and saw Yuta on the floor in front of the sink. “Yuta, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” He sat down and pulled Yuta into a firm hug, causing Yuta to break down. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. Whatever it is we will figure it out together.”

They sat on the floor for a good fifteen minutes before Yuta calmed down enough to let go of Ten. “Come on Hyung. Let’s go sit on the couch and you can tell me what’s going on. He helped Yuta up and led him to the couch. Yuta sat down, wiping his cheeks and trying not to shake too much.

Yuta took a deep breath and turned to look at Ten. “Okay, Tennie. I am going to be honest with you and tell you what happened. And I’m not lying. I fucking swear, but you’re gonna think I’m making this shit up.” Ten leaned over and squeezed his knee, “It’s okay, just talk to me.” Yuta nodded and thought for a minute. Ten sat patiently waiting. He knew he couldn’t push Yuta. He had to let him do this on his own.

“So that Jaehyun guy that I had coffee with today...well, while we were talking he called me babe and kinda freaked out. I was confused. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but he was all like, I’m sorry and I can explain. So we decided to come back here and have pasta and talk. He starts explaining how he's drawn to me, whatever the fuck that means, and that he was outside my window the other night and that’s why my nightmare stopped. I thought he was just some creepy guy...but then...you know what his fucking excuse was? He said he was a demon. A fucking demon! I shit you not Ten, that is what he said. And I laughed I honestly did. Why on earth would I believe him? But the worst part Ten…he closed his eyes and when he opened them back up they were black. Completely black Ten. He blinked again and they were back to brown. I flipped and told him to leave. He said he put his number in my phone and then walked out. That’s when I called you.” Yuta took another deep breath trying to calm down. He had said everything so fast he hoped Ten understood what he was saying.

Ten sat there looking at him for a minute. Processing what he said. “So you’re telling me...he said he was a demon. Like...angels, demons, that kind of demon? And then his eyes were black? Like you see in the movies?” Yuta nodded looking at his hands. He knew how it sounded and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Ten.

“Well hyung, this may come as a surprise to you because we have never really talked about stuff like this before, but that doesn’t sound so crazy to me” Yuta’s head snapped up and he looked at Ten with wide eyes. “What did you just say?” Ten chuckled, “I am saying that you don’t know my views on things that are supernatural and I happen to believe things like demons and angels are a real thing. I have always thought the were out there. I never thought I would necessarily see one. But that’s something we can talk about later.”

Yuta couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He just sat there staring at Ten, mouth agape. He shook his head, “Okay so you believe me? You believe what he told me? I’m not crazy? Is he crazy? What the fuck Ten?” Ten put his hand out and Yuta took it. “ What I am saying is, in my opinion, you should hear him out. I can be there with you if you like. If you don’t want to do it alone. Or you could come by the shop and talk to him there. This is just my advice. You don’t have to listen to me. Do what you think is best. But I don’t think you’ll be able to really get past this without knowing what is really going on.”

Yuta thought about it for a minute. What were his personal thoughts on things like demons? He had never really thought about it before. He believed there was something out there. Or maybe things. He believes in heaven and hell. So why would demons not be real?

“Okay. I’ll text him”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/JaehyunNakamoto)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day filled with stress and anxiety. Another day of feeling worthless. Yuta sat on hid bed and stared at the ceiling. "I just don't understand. I am so tired of all this shit. I just wish it could all change."
> 
> Little did he know, change was on its way. Would he really want to accept what he had been asking for? Would it be too much? Or not enough?

Yuta sat on the couch fidgeting, as Ten rubbed circles on his back trying to calm him down. “Hyung, it will be okay. Try not to worry too much. I’ll be right here.”

There was a light knock on the door and Yuta jumped. He looked at Ten, who nodded and went to open the door. He stood before the door, not yet opening it. _Fuck. What in hell Yuta. What are you doing?_

Jaehyun spoke through the door, making Yuta jump back a little.“If you don’t want to do this Yuta, we don’t have to. Only if you're sure. Only if you’re comfortable.” Yuta looked back at Ten before he slowly opened the door.

Jaehyun stood there leaning against the door frame. He glanced at Yuta and lowered his gaze. Yuta stepped back and pointed to the table. Jaehyun walked towards the table but stopped when he saw Ten. “Oh, hello Ten.” He sat down at the table folding his hands in his lap. Ten walked over and sat across from him. “I hope you don’t mind me being here hyung. Yuta hyung didn’t want to be alone.” Jaehyun looked up, “So you know what’s going on? He told you what happened?” He wasn’t surprised Yuta talked to Ten, he was just surprised that Ten seemed to be so calm and relaxed. "Yes, he called me as soon as you left. I happen to be pretty open-minded when it comes to this stuff." Jaehyun nodded and looked at Yuta.

Yuta walked over and sat next to Ten. Jaehyun took a deep breath, “I really appreciate the fact that you are letting me explain myself. I don’t want to overwhelm you, so I will just let you ask me questions for now.” Ten looked at Yuta, “He said your eyes turned black. Could you show me?” Jaehyun nodded, closing his eyes and slowly opening them. They were a beautiful brown...and then when he opened them again they were completely black.

Yuta gulped… _Holy Shit. I thought I had imagined it. I didn’t want to believe it._ “So, could you keep them black all the time if you wanted or do you have to switch back?” Ten had his head tilted to the side. Jaehyun blinked switching back to his brown eyes. “I could keep them black but no one knows about me and I don’t want to scare people or have them asking questions.”

“Do you have any questions?” Ten looked at Yuta and squeezed his hand. Yuta looked at Jaehyun, _I have too many questions. What should I ask? I’m afraid of what his answers will be. Fuck Yuta. Calm down. What should I ask first? Why was he drawn to me? What about the nightmares? What about the babe thing? I don’t know what to do._

Jaehyun put his hands on the table, palms up. “Yuta, I can answer all those questions for you one at a time. We can take as much time as you need. I want you to understand.” Yuta looked at him wide-eyed. _What does he mean, all those questions? I didn’t say anything out loud._ He stared at Jaehyun for a minute debating… _Can you hear my thoughts?_ Jaehyun nodded slowly.

"Holy shit", Yuta said as he laid his head on the table. _I may not be able to handle all this information you know?_ , he thought. Jaehyun leaned across the table and put his hand on Yuta's head lightly. "You will be able to. You are stronger than you realize." Ten looked at them, confused. "Did I missing something?"

Yuta sat up and ran his hands over his face. "Okay, let's get this over with. I have to go to work tomorrow."

\-------

Jaehyun looked at Ten, “I can read his thoughts. That’s the part you missed.” Ten looks between the both of them, thinking. “Just his or everyone's?” Ten didn’t want Jaehyun knowing what he was thinking. He could be beyond perverted sometimes. “Don’t worry, it’s only Yuta’s because of our bond.”

“About that, what kind of bond are we talking about. I’ll admit, with everything you’ve told me and shown me I believe you, but I still don’t understand.” Yuta was telling the truth but his head was starting to hurt from all this new information he was having to process.

Jaehyun shifted in his chair, “I’ll try to keep this as short as possible but I will have to start from the beginning, but first, how far back can you remember Yuta? How young were you in your first memory?” Yuta thought about it... _My earliest memory...hmm_...His mind was cloudy like there was a thick fog that he couldn’t get through. The only thing he could remember was being 13 and having his first nightmare. They were a nightly occurrence back then. The doctors had said they were night terrors, to begin with until they calmed down a few years later. He still had them every night but they weren’t as bad. Then they gradually started happening less and less until they were once a month maybe. That is, until recently.

Yuta grabbed Ten’s hand and held it needing something to keep him grounded. He did not want to cry in front of Jaehyun. “The earliest thing I remember is my first nightmare when I was 13.” Jaehyun shook his head and looked...sad but angry at the same time. Yuta furrowed his brows, “Jaehyun, what’s wrong?”

“I can tell you why you have those nightmares and why you don’t remember anything before them.” Yuta’s eyes grew wide, “You can? Really? How, what do you know?” He honestly couldn’t believe he would finally have any kind of answers about his nightmares.

“You won’t like what I have to say but....the truth is, it was my brothers doing. All of it. My brother, Doyoung, is the epitome of being a demon. If you are wanting a bad one anyway. He was in Japan when you were a child and..” He hesitated and put his hand across the table, asking for silent permission. Yuta stuck his hand out and put it in Jaehyun's. He ran his thumb across Yuta’s knuckles as he continued, “Doyoung found you playing outside when you were very young and started to terrorize you. Scaring you. Nothing too crazy at first. But as you got older he would cause you physical harm and eventually...when you hit puberty...he would not only hurt you physically and mentally but he started sexually abusing you.”

Yuta sat there staring at Jaehyun, taking in everything he just said. Ten was sitting there mouth agape. “So your brother did all this? Caused all this? And how does this tie into his nightmares?” Ten reached over and squeezed Yuta’s shoulder waiting to comfort him.

Jaehyun nodded, “Yes Doyoung caused all this. Once he got bored of Yuta he left and that is when the nightmares started. Doyoung was a living nightmare so Yuta didn’t have them when he was still around. I believe your brain shut out everything before the trauma to try and protect you from the worst. I can’t be sure but that is what I think.”

Yuta nodded. Most of it made sense to him. “So where do you come into all this?” That is what Yuta really wanted to know. What was Jaehyun's part in this whole thing?

“When I found out what my brother had done I went looking for you. I didn’t know who you were or where you were. I just had to search on my own. The things my brother did leave a mark on you, spiritually. Inside. I am drawn to that because of my relation to my brother. The closer I go to you the harder the pull.”

“So when we bumped into each other that was a coincidence?” Jaehyun smiled. “Yes, it was. I was feeling such a hard pull...I knew you were close. And then you literally ran into me. I was so happy but I couldn’t just come out and tell you all this without scaring you. So I waited.”

Yuta was on the verge of a migraine at this point. He was happy that Jaehyun was being so open and honest but he didn’t think he could take anymore right now.

“Jaehyun, thank you for coming back and telling me the truth, but I don’t think I do any more of this tonight. Can we meet up tomorrow at Ten’s after I get off work and finish this?” He was exhausted mentally.

“Yes of course. I understand. Ten, if Yuta is okay with it, could you stay with him tonight? I don’t want him being alone. I am going to keep my distance for now and I know what will cause his nightmares to possibly come back.”

Ten smiled and looked at Yuta, “Of course. He can try and say no but I’ll just latch on and not let go.” Jaehyun got up and headed towards the door, “I will see you two tomorrow, thank you for hearing me out. And believing me.” With that, he left.

“Come on Hyung, let’s go to bed.”

\-------

“Hyung wake up!” Ten was shaking Yuta trying to wake him up from his nightmare. Finally, his eyes shot open and he sat up.

He hugged Ten, shaking. He wasn’t crying this time which was better than normal. The nightmare was different this time. Just darkness and fear. No man or anything like that.

“It’s okay Ten. I’m okay. Thank you.” He lauded back down and pulled Ten into his side. Luckily for him, Ten didn’t mince cuddling. “It wasn’t as bad as others. I think you being here helped. Thank you.” Ten wrapped his arms around Yuta’s waist and kissed his chin. “You know I’ll do anything to help you. I love you.” Yuta smiled but laughed. “Oh lord don’t go confessing on me now.” Ten poked him in the side, “Smartass you know what I mean.” Yuta smiled. He didn’t deserve Ten. “Yea I do. I love you too Tennie.”

Yuta groaned as he sat up and checked the time. They had about thirty minutes before Ten had to be at work. That gave Yuta an hour. “Come on Ten, you need to be at work soon.” He got up, taking the blanket with him. “Hey, it’s cold now! Butt head.” Ten stuck his tongue out at Yuta, but got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

Yuta went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He thought about all that had happened in the last few days and could barely believe any of it. His world had literally been turned upside down. He shook his head and finished his water, putting the glass in the sink.

Ten came in the kitchen yawning, “Well I better head out. I have a change of clothes at work so I’ll get ready there. I’ll see you after work.” He gave Yuta a hug and kissed his cheek before heading out the door. Yuta smiled, thinking about how blessed he was to have Ten in his life, even if he didn’t deserve him. That got him thinking, he had just considered himself blessed. But was he, is that what you would call it anyway? He was going to have to ask Jaehyun about that.

He got ready and headed to Ten’s, just grabbing his morning coffee on his way to work. He hoped he could manage his work today. He had so much on his mind but he didn’t want to screw anything up.

The day went by like a blur. He helped customers and did anything his boss asked. It wasn’t as hard as he thought. As the day came to an end and it was time for him to leave, he walked up to the owner, “Would it be okay if I took tomorrow off? I have some personal stuff I need to take care of?” He didn’t think she would mind but you never know. “Of course not Yuta, you take care of yourself, honey, I'll see you Wednesday.” She patted his shoulder and walked towards the back. He was so lucky to have found this job.

As he made his way to meet up with Jaehyun, he tried to think of anything specific he wanted to ask or know. He didn’t want to have to keep meeting up to discuss new things. He wanted this to be the last time.

He walked in and Ten pointed to the back table. Yuta nodded and grabbed the drinks Ten had for them. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you before I go home.” He walked up and sat the drink in front of Jaehyun before taking the seat across from him.

“Thank you for the drink and for meeting me again.”

“You’re welcome, but I would like this to be the last time we meet up.” Yuta saw a slight change in Jaehyun’s poster and expression. He put his hand on the table and started running his finger across Jaehyun’s knuckles. Why he was doing this he didn’t know but it felt right. “Jaehyun, I didn’t mean I don’t want to see you again. I just meant I don’t want to have to keep meeting up and having these informative discussions.”

Jaehyun visibly relaxed and let out a sigh. “You scared me Yuta, but I understand. Did you sleep okay last night? Was it any better with Ten there?” He knew it wasn’t going to be easy on Yuta with him not around.

“I did have a nightmare but it wasn’t as bad. Just darkness, fear, and pain. It did help having Ten stay. He woke me up and cuddled with me. I’m surprised I didn’t suffocate. He’s so clingy.” He laughed imaging Ten as a koala.

“You love him. I can tell.” Jaehyun had a hard to read expression this time. Jealousy? Longing? Yuta wasn’t sure. “I do. He is like the brother I never had. Even though I am older he definitely takes care of me.”

Jaehyun nodded, “I am glad you have him then. So, do you have any other questions or do you want me to tell you something specific?” He wanted to be open with Yuta but he honestly wasn’t sure how much more the boy could take right now.

“I would like you to stay at my place tonight and prove to me that you can make my nightmares go away. If you can, I will believe everything you say. I mean, what you said is pretty convincing as it is, but this would solidify it for me.”

Jaehyun just looked at him for a minute. He thought maybe he didn’t hear what he said. “Are you sure Yuta? I mean, I don’t mind if that’s what you want.”

Yuta thought about it again and he didn’t see any other way to test this theory.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

\-------

As they walked to Yuta’s apartment he became more nervous. He knew this was what he wanted and for some reason he trusted Jaehyun, so he didn’t know why he was this anxious. It’s because you like him. He stopped walking and looked around. Normally he talked to himself, internally, a lot. It was a normal thing, but this was like someone else talking to him.

 _What the fuck?_ This was all Yuta needed. Someone else in his head. Having himself, Jaehyun and even Ten were bad enough. He shook his head and kept walking. He didn’t want Jaehyun to catch on that anything had happened.

They didn’t talk on the way but it wasn’t too uncomfortable of a silence. It felt more like if old friends had talked about everything but still wanted to be around each other.

When they reached Yuta’s apartment, he went into the kitchen and started looking for something to eat. “If you want to just, make yourself comfortable I’ll get us something to eat.” Jaehyun leaned against the wall a few feet away from, “Let me know if you need my help.”

Yuta nodded and kept at it. He didn’t have much because he knew the nightmares would keep him up and possibly make him sick. Luckily he had some stuff for sandwiches, he just hoped that was okay with Jaehyun.

He turned around and laid the plates on the table. “I hope sandwiches are okay. It’s all I have right now.” He was a little embarrassed.

Jaehyun sat down and took a bite, “It’s fine Yuta. Don’t worry.” He smiled not wanting Yuta to dwell on it. “I’m not a picky eater. As long as it’s edible I’m good.”

Yuta laughed, “sounds like me most of the time. I don’t keep...normal food much because of the nightmares. They mess with my eating.”

“I understand. I hope I can help change all this for you. For the better.” He really did hope he would be able to help Yuta and make his life more enjoyable.

“Thank you Jaehyun. So, after we’re done would you like to watch Netflix or something?”

“Sueuwa” Jaehyun laughed and swallowed, “Sure. Sorry I should have swallowed first.”

After they got done eating and cleaned up they moved to the couch. Jaehyun about died when Yuta said his favorite show on Netflix was supernatural and that was what they were going to be watching.

“You’re kidding me. Your favorite show is about demons, vampires, and you were doubting me?” He laughed in disbelief.

“Hey, this was just a TV show to me before you came along. I’m gonna be seeing it in a whole new light now, thank you very much.”

They watched a few episodes but Yuta was getting tired. He wasn’t sure what to do about the sleeping arrangements, but thankfully Jaehyun beat him to it. “I’ll sleep on the couch if you can just give me some clothes and a blanket and pillow. If you need me you can come get me. How about that?”

“Okay, thanks.” He went into his room and got some sweats that were a little too long and a T-shirt. He grabbed one of the few pillows off his bed and a comfy blanket and went back into the living room.

“I think these should fit. The sweats are a bit long on me so they’ll probably be perfect for you. If you need anything just knock.” He turned around and headed back in his room before Jaehyun could even respond. He was so nervous and worried.

Jaehyun went to the bathroom, changed, and then made himself comfortable on the couch. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep.

Yuta on the hand couldn’t do anything to fall asleep. He tried for what seemed like hours. When he looked at his phone for what seemed like the hundredth time he sighed and got up.

He walked into the living room quietly not wanting to disturb Jaehyun. Luck was on his side because he didn’t seem to have woken him up.

Jaehyun was laying on his side back to the couch, so Yuta pulled the blanket back and laid next to him. He froze when Jaehyun pulled him into his chest, arms wrapping around his waist and his hair tickling his nose. He stayed still for a minute until he was sure Jaehyun hasn’t woken up and the. put his arms around his waist and buried his face in his neck.

Jaehyun squeezed him a little tighter and let out a quiet laugh which scared Yuta. He tried to pull away but Jaehyun wouldn’t let go. “It’s okay. I’m glad you came.” He looked down at Yuta and pushed the hair out of his eyes. “Please stay.”

Yuta knew he was blushing like crazy but he didn’t care. He was too captivated by Jaehyun's eyes. They were black. “Why are your eyes black?” He didn’t kind. He thought they looked good, thought Jaehyun looked good with them.

“Oh, I’m sorry. When I’m tired or sleepy it’s harder for me to keep them brown. I honestly just don’t try.”

“It’s okay, I like them. I was just curious.” He smiled at Jaehyun. He didn’t want him being uncomfortable around him. “You could keep them black when you’re around me if you want. I won’t mind.”

Jaehyun couldn’t believe it. Yuta was blowing his mind. He pulled him back into a tight hug, “thank you Yuta. You never cease to amaze me.”

\-------

Jaehyun woke up to the sun streaming through the window. He yawned and looked down at Yuta who was still fast asleep. Somehow they had moved around in the night and Jaehyun ended up on his back with Yuta on top of him, cheek on his chest. He smiled, brushing some hair out of his hyungs eyes.

He took a moment to think about what would come of him helping Yuta. He knew it was the only way but he also did not want to hurt Yuta anymore than he already had been. He had fallen for Yuta before he had even seen the boy and then seeing him in person...Jaehyun sighed and ran a hand over his face. When he looked back down at Yuta two beautiful brown eyes were looking back at him.

“Morning Jaehyun.” Yuta’s morning voice was doing things to Jaehyun that he hoped went unnoticed by his hyung.

“Good morning beautiful” Jaehyun winked and relished in the blush that crept up Yutas neck all the way to the tips of his ears. “Stop that...I am not.” He tried to push off and stand up but Jaehyun sat up causing Yuta to be sitting in his lap straddling his legs.

“Yuta, I know there is so much more we will have to talk about the more we are around each other, but there are a few things I can tell you that are facts. Two of those being that you are beautiful and...I love you.” Jaehyun practically whispered the last word. He knew it was too soon and that Yuta couldn’t possibly understand but he had this need to tell him.

“I know you aren’t going to understand but I had to tell you. I don’t expect anything in return but I just needed to get that off my chest.” He looked up and Yuta was regarding him with a curious expression on his face.

“You’re right Jaehyun, I don’t understand...but I am getting used to the idea that there are things I didn’t believe that are real and things I didn’t understand that eventually, I do. So...just give me some time.” Yuta didn’t understand how anyone could love him or think he was beautiful, but he thought Jaehyun was beautiful... _This is giving me a fucking headache._

Yuta leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Jaehyuns neck burying his face in his shoulder. “My head hurts. Thinking about this stuff too much gives me a headache.” Jaehyun rubbed his back enjoying the closeness. “I’m sorry Yuta. The more we talk about it the less that should happen.”

Yuta just realized something...he sat back with wide eyes, “Jaehyun...I slept last night! I didn’t have a nightmare!” His smile was beautiful and blinding. Jaehyun hoped he could see it every day. Before he knew what was happening Yuta had pecked him on the lips.

“Sorry...but thank you. I can’t believe it worked. I mean, I don’t think I dreamt of anything but I didn’t have a nightmare so that’s all that matters”

Jaehyun ran a hand through Yuta’s hair loving the feel of the silky locks between his fingers. He slowly pulled Yuta back into a kiss. Nothing aggressive, just a small lingering kiss on the lips. “Don’t ever apologize for kissing me. I would kiss you all day if you’d let me.”

Yuta swore he looked like a tomato. He could feel the blush all over his body. _I think I would like that too. Fuck what am I saying I still don’t know everything about him. This is so confusing._ Jaehyun laughed and Yuta looked at him before rolling his eyes “Fuck I keep forgetting you can hear my thoughts.”

Yuta had a little pout on his lips and Jaehyun thought he might die from the cuteness. “Oh, Yuta don’t do that. You are going to kill me with that look.” What can only be described as an evil grew slowly spread on Yuta’s face, “Oh really now?”

He leaned forward and gave Jaehyun another hug, “Seriously though, thank you for everything. I can’t put into words what all this means to me.” Jaehyun wrapped his arms a little tighter around Yuta wanting him to feel as safe as possible.

“You are so welcome, babe.”

\-------

After their little cuddle session on the couch, they decided to go get some coffee and let Ten know what was going on. Yuta wanted to get to him before he started blowing his phone up.

As they exited Yuta’s building, he took Jaehyun's hand in his, interlacing their fingers. He looked at Jaehyun hesitantly, “Is this okay?” Jaehyun just smiled and squeezed his hand. “Of course it is. You never have to ask if any kind of affection is okay with me. I will take anything you are willing to give.”

They walked in a comfortable silence that allowed Yuta to think about everything that had happened in the last few days. This time he remembered Jaehyun would know what he was thinking but he didn’t mind anymore. This involved him anyway and it was a way for him to talk to Jaehyun without actually having to talk to him. He shook his head at himself. He was such a scaredy-cat sometimes.

_This time I want you to hear what I am thinking...cause I’m too scared to voice some of this shit. He glanced at Jaehyun who was looking at him curiously but with a grin. He nodded letting Yuta know to continue. There is so much of this I don’t understand...and I know I am probably repeating myself, and I’m sorry if I do. Just be patient with me please because I want to learn more about all this I really do...I just need some time with some things you’re telling me. I can tell you that I believe everything you are telling me and even though I may not be saying I love you yet...I do like you a lot and I want you to stay with me. I don’t want you going anywhere._

He squeezed Jaehyun’s hand and stepped a little closer, the closeness making Yuta feel at ease. “Anything for you.” Jaehyun leaned down and kissed his forehead just as they walked up in front of the coffee shop. “Just a warning, Ten is gonna freak out. He has never seen me with anyone and has been worried that something was wrong with me because I never dated.”

“Good to know.” Jaehyun opened the door and let Yuta walk in. He walked up to the counter and ordered their drinks while Yuta went and sat down by the window.

“Morning Hyung, can we get the usual, please? And when have a minute can you come sit with us? We wanna talk to you.” Jaehyun pointed to where Yuta was sitting.

“Of course! Give me a few minutes and I’ll bring your drinks over.” Ten hurried behind the counter getting the other customers drinks before he took the three drinks over to his friend's table.

“So, what’s up?” He sat across from them sipping his own coffee. “Well, I realize I told you I would talk to you before I left last night and I didn’t. I’m sorry Ten.” Yuta had honestly forgotten about talking to Ten.

“Hyung don’t worry about it. I know you had a lot on your mind. Just tell me now.” He smiled wanting Yuta to know that he wasn't upset. He could never be upset at Yuta.

“Well, I asked Jaehyun to stay over last night to prove that he could get rid of my nightmares. Ten...it worked. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t dream but I didn’t have a nightmare.” He smiled taking Jaehyun's hand in his under the table.

“Oh my god hyung that’s amazing! Jaehyun you’re amazing!” Ten reached across the table and took Jaehyun’s hand in his trying not to tear up. “Oh, Ten you look like you’re going to cry. Please don’t” Yuta didn’t want Ten getting emotional over him. “I’m sorry hyung but it’s just so nice to see someone who cares about you and is able to help you with these fucking nightmares. I’m just happy for you, that’s all.”

Jaehyun and Yuta both smiled. They were both glad that Ten was happy just like they were. “I don’t know what the future holds for sure, but I am going to try and keep Jaehyun around as long as I can. So be prepared to see a lot more of him.”

Ten wiggled his eyebrows, “Ohhh does that mean I get to see his abs too?” Yuta choked on his coffee but luckily didn’t spit it across the table. “I’m sorry hyung! It was just a joke.” Jaehyun was laughing but still patting Yuta on the back. “I’m only into polyamory if Yuta is.” He winked at Ten causing him to blush. “Oh my god, you two will you stop.” Yuta was laughing too. It was so nice to just...be normal and talk with friends. He knew this situation was nowhere near normal but it still felt right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day filled with stress and anxiety. Another day of feeling worthless. Yuta sat on hid bed and stared at the ceiling. "I just don't understand. I am so tired of all this shit. I just wish it could all change."
> 
> Little did he know, change was on its way. Would he really want to accept what he had been asking for? Would it be too much? Or not enough?

After the talk with Ten, they headed a few blocks away to a park near Yuta’s building. The weather was nice and they both thought it would be a good idea to just sit and enjoy the weather and each others company.

“You know Jaehyun, something I just realized...before you came along I would always have this voice in my head. I mean, I know it was me talking to myself, but I never knew that it must have stemmed from my nightmares until now. I would shit talk myself, the weather, other people around me...you name it. I couldn't tell you the last time I enjoyed the weather and thought it was nice.”

Jaehyun led them to a bench that was nestled somewhat behind a collection of rose bushes. They were still in view of other people but it gave them a little privacy. 

When they sat down Yuta looked at Jaehyun and was surprised to see his eyes were black. “You said you didn’t mind...are you still okay with it?” He wanted to make sure Yuta wasn’t just saying it to be nice. Yuta reached over and cupped Jaehyun's cheek smiling, “I love them. I wish you could keep them like this all the time.” He leaned over and kissed the youngers cheek making him blush.

“Oh don’t get all bashful on me now!” Yuta laughed and Jaehyun just smiled back at him. He loved the sound of Yuta’s laugh. It was intoxicating and infectious. “I love your smile and your laugh. You being happy makes me so happy. I know it’s sappy but it’s true.”

Yuta scooted closer to Jaehyun and rested his head on the others shoulder. They just sat there for a few minutes enjoying the smell of the flowers and chirping birds.

“Jae...I wanted to talk to you about your brother and stuff from...before. Is it okay if I ask you some questions?” Jaehyun stiffened but nodded his head. He knew this was going to happen eventually but that didn’t mean he was looking forward to it.

“You said what your brother did to me left a mark. Can you explain that?” Yuta turned to face Jaehyun on the bench and waited patiently. He could practically see the gears spinning in Jae’s head.

“The things my brother did to you...physically...when you are with a demon and do things like that...the longer it goes on the more it leaves a mark on your soul. It won’t hurt you or do anything to you necessarily but it does make your soul a little darker each time. I have a feeling he probably physically marked you too but I’m not sure. He liked to...claim ownership of things and people. He had a habit of biting and claiming people. I think the combination of the two is why our...connection is so strong.”

Yuta thought about all this. He looked at the beautiful rose bushes that were behind their bench. Some of the petals were falling off or messed up but the flowers were still amazing to look at. “Is there a way to undo any of that? Or change it or something?”

Jaehyun shook his head, “Not that I know of. Honestly, the only thing I know that can be done...and you aren’t going to like this but, you can willingly allow a demon to claim you and the can kind of...override the system if you will.”

“So like, if I let you claim me...it would make his go away?” 

“Yes, exactly.”

“Hmmm, okay. Are you ready to head back? I could use a nap. Anytime we talk about this stuff it gives me a headache and wears me out.” Jaehyun stood up and took Yuta’s hand and they began to walk back to his apartment.

\-------  
Once they were back in Yuta’s apartment, he pulled Jaehyun to the bedroom. “You don’t mind staying and cuddling with me do you?” He asked this as he started undressing. He kept his boxers and t-shirt on not wanting to give Jaehyun the wrong idea. 

“Yuta, I would cuddle you all day long if you let me.” He smiled and undressed just like Yuta. They climbed under the covers and Yuta laid his head on Jaehyun’s chest. He tilted his head up and kissed Jaehyun’s chin causing the younger to hum in approval. 

They lay like that for a short while before Jaehyun finally fell asleep. Yuta peeked up to make sure before he started thinking. Jaehyun, if you’re awake please say something....but nothing happened. Good, this gave him a chance to think about their conversation in the park. So if the only real way to get this mark off of me is to let another demon claim me...then I don’t see why I can’t just let Jaehyun claim me. I mean, the more I’m around him the more I fall for him. I honestly can’t imagine him not being around. I hope he understands and will agree to it. He nuzzled into Jaehyuns and finally let sleep overtake him.

Yuta woke up to Jaehyun running his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.” He yawned and shook his head, “You didn’t wake me.” He buried his face further into Jaehyun’s neck causing the younger to laugh. “You really do like to snuggle up huh? Should I start calling you kitten?” A fierce blush started running down Yuta’s neck. 

“Jaehyung stop” 

“Why, does my kitten not like it? Or is it that you do like it?” 

That was the problem. Yuta did like it and so did his dick evidently because, hello was it waking up. He tried to roll away from Jaehyun but he wouldn’t let him. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll stop if you want me to.” He looked down at Yuta with this dark but caring look on his face. It practically took his breath away. “It’s okay...I just…” He was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say.

Jaehyun pulled him closer and gave him a soft sweet kiss. He didn’t push or rush it. He wanted it to be at Yuta’s speed. He let Yuta take control of the kiss as he bit down on jaehyun’s bottom lip, causing Jaehyun to moan. Yuta quickly pulled back, “I’m sorry Jaehyun…” 

“Hey, everything's fine. What’s wrong?” He honestly didn't understand what was going on with Yuta. “Just talk to me.”

Yuta took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, “I need you to do something for me”

\-------  
Yuta was worried that Jaehyun wouldn’t go along with his request. He kept his face hidden in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck as he continued to speak. “I was thinking while you were asleep...if the only way to get this mark off me is for a demon to claim me, then why don’t you claim me?” 

He waited for Jaehyun to reply. He could feel the other's heartbeat and it had sped up once he mentioned his idea. He was getting almost sick to his stomach thinking that Jaehyun wouldn’t want him in that way. He thought he did but maybe Yuta was wrong…”Yuta, calm down. My heart may be racing but I’m pretty sure your thoughts are going faster.”

He rolled over and looked at Yuta, “Is this truly what you want? You understand what this means?” Even though they had talked about it there was still more Jaehyun thought they needed to talk about. 

“I know it’s what I want. I think I understand what it means...you will claim me, removing your brothers mark but putting your own in its place. I am assuming we will be connected in a different way after that.” Yuta thought it was a little strange that the more they thought about it the more he seemed to be at ease with the idea.

“Pretty much but I will also leave a physical mark on you. Similar to what people would think a vampire would do. I would bite you to release the mark my brother left and then let my mark be made. The connection we would have would be so much stronger than it is now. We would both feel the pull like I do now. It is similar to what people think of mates within animals. Also, if you took my mark you could block me from hearing your thoughts.”

Yuta rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. “If I think about this, I know you will hear it, but can you like, just let me think and give me a few minutes?” Jaehyun nodded, “I will go sit on the couch and watch tv while you think it over and you can come in there when you’re ready.” He kissed Yuta on the cheek and left him in the bedroom.

Yuta rolled over and buried his head in a pillow. Instead of thinking about what Jaehyun had said to him, he let himself imagine what his life would be like without Jaehyun. The loneliness. The nightmare. The hunger, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. The pain that he would be in if he didn’t go through with this. He knew he didn’t want any of that happening again. He didn’t think he could take it anymore.

He walked into the living room but Jaehyun wasn’t there. He frowned and then heard a noise and turned around to find Jaehyun leaning against the counter with his head hung. Yuta realized he was crying. “Jaehyun what’s wrong? What happened?” He walked up behind him and put his arms around his waist loving the way his face fit perfectly between his shoulder blades. 

“When you were thinking about your future without me...I could feel those emotions Yuta and I couldn’t handle it. It scared me and upset me that you could have ever felt that way.” He turned around and pulled Yuta into a tight hug. “Please tell me you don’t want that...that you will let me stay with you. I don’t want to let any of that ever happen to you again.”

Yuta felt tears starting to fall when he looked at Jaehyun. “I don’t want that either Jae. I want this and I want you. Please don’t ever leave me. I think I’m falling in love with you.”

\-------

Jaehyun rested his forehead against Yuta’s and sighed, “That makes me happy to hear you say that. I have loved you for quite some time now.” They just stood there for a minute holding each other until they both had calmed down.

Yuta took Jaehyun by the hand and walked back into the bedroom. He pulled his shirt off and tugged on Jaehyun’s until he removed his own. “I want this Jaehyun...no matter what the cost, whatever I need to do, whatever I need to give...please.” Jaehyun placed his hand on Yuta’s cheek and watched as he leaned into the touch. “I’m not going to lie, the bite will hurt for a minute...but if you let me, I’ll make sure you feel good too.” Yuta looked at him and nodded before climbing on the bed.

Jaehyun joined him on the bed, setting up against the headboard. He patted his legs and watched the blush that crept up Yuta’s neck as he straddled his legs. “You’re so cute when you blush. I think this will be most comfortable while I mark you. Is this okay?” Yuta but still wouldn’t look Jaehyun in the eye.

“Hey, it’s okay if you want to wait or if you change your mind completely. This is totally up to you and what you are comfortable with. I want this but ultimately this is up to you.”

Yuta took a deep breath and finally looked at Jaehyun. “I want this and I trust you. I’m just...nervous about it being good for you is all. Other than the stuff with your brother that I can’t remember and my nightmares...I haven’t actually done anything with anyone before.” He was so embarrassed and afraid that…

“Hey, you don’t have to worry about anything. I am already enjoying this and we haven’t even done anything yet. Just being around you makes me happy.” Jaehyun wrapped his arms around Yuta’s waist and pulled him close, humming in delight when he felt Yuta wrap his arms around his neck. “We can take this slow babe, we don’t have to rush anything. I’m not going anywhere okay?” Yuta felt tears start to prick his eyes and he buried his face in Jaehyun’s neck. 

“It’s okay Yuta. Everything is going to be okay from now on, I promise.”

\-------

It took Yuta a few minutes to calm down but Jaehyun was patient. When he thought Yuta was okay, he pulled him back so he could look at him. “Like I said, we can take this as slow as you want to. If you want more or less, just tell me okay?” Yuta nodded but Jaehyun didn’t miss his ears turning red. 

“Come here, babe.” He tightened his grip on Yuta’s waist and pulled him so they were chest to chest. He started kissing him everywhere, trailing kisses from his jaw to his earlobe and back. “You have no idea what you do to me Yuta. I want you so bad...you can’t imagine. I’m going to be insatiable once you have my mark.”

Yuta let out a small whimper, not really knowing what to do about all these things he was feeling. “Jaehyun...I need...I…” Jaehyun never stopped kissing him as he asked, “What baby? I’ll give you anything, just ask.” All this was too much for Yuta, the kissing, being so close to Jaehyun, his mind wasn’t really working...so his body took over. 

Jaehyun gasped as Yuta suddenly ground down on his now hardening cock. “Oh...fuck Yuta.” Jaehyun couldn’t take it anymore and he rolled his hips up to meet Yuta’s as he leaned in to kiss him, swallowing the whine that left the elders lips. He took the opportunity to taste Yuta, barley letting him catch his breath. 

Yuta thought he was going to combust. He could hardly process what was going on, not sure where to focus his energy. He tried to kiss Jaehyun back but that was difficult when he wanted to grind back down into his lap and get that sweet friction he needed. 

He pushed lightly on Jaehyun's shoulders and pulled back immediately, eyes dilated and full of lust but also worry. “Yuta, what’s wrong?” This actually made him laugh, “Nothings wrong...I’m just a little...overwhelmed is all.” Jaehyun smiled, he was afraid he had done something Yuta didn’t like. “Let’s slow down a little babe. Let me take care of you yeah?” Yuta nodded and tried to relax as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

\-------  
His eyes flew open when he felt Jaehyun palm him through his underwear. “Oh...shit.” He started to rock his hips, loving the friction but also the noises that Jaehyun was making. “Fuck Yuta keep that up and I’m gonna cum embarrassingly fast.” Yuta stopped moving and looked at Jaehyun, “Wait, Yuta, I didn’t mean stop…” Yuta smiled and leaned forward to peck his cheek, “Can we umm…” He looked down at his lap but Jaehyun lifted his chin up making him look him in the eyes. “Just ask babe.” Yuta blushed but kept looking at him, “Can we keep doing this but...without the underwear?”

Jaehyun moaned as he pulled Yuta into a crushing kiss before pulling back. “Of course we can babe.” They both quickly too off their underwear and Jaehyun pulled Yuta back into his lap. They both moaned as their crocks rubbed together. Yuta started to roll his hips again and Jaehyun thought he just might die from the sounds he was making. 

He had kept his hands on Yuta’s hips, not wanting to move too quickly but he couldn't take it anymore, he had to feel him. He took both their cocks in his hand and just held them there as they both fucked his hand. 

“Jae...fuck...I don’t...this is…” He couldn’t form a coherent sentence, it was all too much. “Fuck, I got you, babe.” Jaehyun kept his right hand on their cocks and used his left to pull Yuta down, kissing along his jaw and down to his collarbone. “Jaehyun...I can’t...it’s” His orgasm was so close and Jaehyun knew he wanted to mark him when that happened. It would dull the pain but also make his orgasm more intense.

“I know baby. I’m gonna mark you now.” He found a spot right next to a vein close to where his shoulder met his neck. Once he felt Yuta’s hips start to stutter he bit down. “Fuck!” Yuta came. Hard. The bite did hurt but his orgasm was so intense he couldn’t even think about the pain, almost blacking out from the overwhelming pleasure. As he rode through the aftershocks he could finally feel the dull pain in his neck and Jaehyun’s tongue licking over the wound. 

“Hey, you okay?” Jaehyun was looking at him with this blissed-out but concerned look. “I’m okay...just tender and worn out. Fuck Jae that was intense.” He realized there was still blood on Jaehyun’s lip so he leaned down and kissed him, licking the blood off in the process. “Can we take a nap now?” Jaehyun laughed but pulled Yuta down beside him. “Sleep now. We’ll talk later.”

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/JaehyunNakamoto?lang=en)


End file.
